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What is The Best Army in Warhammer 40k: Bracketology
I’ve decided that it’s time to determine what is the best army in Warhammer 40k, so we turn to the most scientifically rigorous method known to man, which is, of course, the bracket. With all the pomp and circumstance of the Codex Astartes, we are leading the Great Crusade into the Milky Way Galaxy. The Emperor of Mankind, on his Golden Throne, has blessed us (as has Papa Nurgle, The Great Horned Rat, and the White Dwarf himself.)
I have created a bracket that, very conveniently, has 32 Warhammer 40k factions on it, and from it we will determine the best army in Warhammer 40k. But how will we know who is best when we go head-to-head? I have been meditating in my fortress monastery for millennia to come up with the answer, and I’ve decided to judge every Warhammer 40k faction by five factors: Meta, Aesthetics, Model Range, Lore, and Intangibles.
Meta
This is going to be very simple. I’m going to look at the most recent MetaWatch article that has been put out by Warhammer Community and see who is winning more often. I realize that meta changes ALL THE TIME, so this isn’t exactly gospel truth (but none of this is). This is based on the MetaWatch article from December 12, 2021.
Aesthetics
This, like all of these categories, is going to be purely subjective on my part. To determine this portion of “What is the best army in Warhammer 40k” it will be simply: do I like the look of one Warhammer 40k army more than the other? I’m going to go into a bit of detail and really try to give it an artist’s eye. I’m no master miniature painter, but I did go to art school, and I have been playing Warhammer 40k for 30 years. So I have opinions.
Model Range
This is going to be a more objective category. It will look at the entire model range and see if they’ve got good stuff all around. Do they have adequate forces? Are their models old and crappy? When was the last time they got a range refresh?
Lore:
I am going to try to put on my cap as a Warhammer 40k lore historian and see what I can discern about who would win from a lore perspective. This is clearly going to be my weakest category as I know the general lore (I HAVE been playing for 30 years) but I don’t have all the Black Library memorized. I might well say that the Adeptus Mechanicus are going to beat the Chaos Space Marines (I’m saying this purely as an example) when there was, in fact, a very specific battle in some book where the Chaos Space Marines obliterated the Adeptus Mechanicus. That’s going to happen. But I’ll try.
Intangibles:
The intangibles are what win the game, and I’m going to try to keep them as objective as intangibles can be. (I realize that’s impossible.) But this category is not me saying “I played the Harlequins when I was 14 so I love them the most.” It’s going to, instead, say “Sanguinious is a pretty magnificent being” or “Orks are made of fungus and their guns work because they BELIEVE they do.” So, rule of cool is going to come into play here.
Tally:
At the end of these five categories, I’m going to tally up which Warhammer 40k faction has the most wins (it’s an odd number, so there will be no ties) and declare that they will move on.
And this will continue throughout the bracket, from the North to the South, from the East to the West, until we come up with an ultimate winner.
And, as you can expect, this article is going to be LONG… Read what you like and skip to the bottom to see the winners.
(Note: All of the Warhammer 40k armies were fed into the bracket maker in the order they are listed on the Games Workshop website. The seeding that takes place is entirely up to chance. I didn’t declare that Space Marines are the best seed and Tyranids are the worst seed. Blame the web store.)
Let’s Get Ready to Name What is the Best Army in Warhammer 40k!
North Bracket
Game One: Space Marines vs Tyranids
Who is the best Warhammer 40k army out of the Space Marines and the Tyranids? This is already jumping off to an impossible matchup, one of the hardest ones that I think we’re going to see. (Note: this refers to generic Space Marines, not to any specific chapter).
Meta: The most recent MetaWatch article has the Tyranids beating the Adeptus Astartes by a wide margin. I’ve talked about the MetaWatch before, and I think that the Space Marines are playing so low because they’re one of the easiest armies to get into, so they have the most newbie players. Whatever the reason, Space Marines are down near the bottom and Tyranids are pretty close to the top. WINNER: TYRANIDS
Aesthetics: This is a really hard category to judge, because they’re so incredibly different. Either you like big giant bugs or you like power armor on Primaris Space Marines, and ne’er the twain shall meet. Personally, I think that there’s a lot of creativity that goes into the Tyranids, with all sorts of unique and bizarre permutations. The Space Marines are kind of, well, you love them or you hate them. But there isn’t a lot of variety. Sure, some of my favorite models are Space Marines (I love the Bladeguard Veterans a LOT) but if you don’t have a hankering for power armor, then there’s not much here to like. So, for sheer multitude of choices, I’m going to have to with: WINNER: TYRANIDS
Model Range: This is a gimme. Everyone knows that there is no army that has the model range available that the Space Marines have. They’ve got more units than any other Warhammer 40k army, and that’s not even including the distinct chapters. Tyranids, on the other hand, have a good selection, but they are OLD. It’s been too long since a range refresh, and the few models that have been trickling out are not enough. WINNER: SPACE MARINES
Lore: Now this may make some of you hate me, but in my mind the lore is pretty clear on what’s going to happen at the end of the galaxy. It’s either going to burn up in a Chaos maelstrom, or it’s going to be completely swarmed and consumed by the Tyranid Fleets. (Remember: there’s strong reason to believe that the Hive Fleets we’ve already met are just the scouts for a larger intergalactic force.) I know the Space Marines have rebuffed the Tyranids so far, but I only see them being churned into biomass. WINNER: TYRANIDS
Intangibles: This one also seems to be pretty much a gimme. The Space Marines are the Warhammer 40000 Space Marines. They are the face of the game. They are iconic and revered and compared to the superhuman warriors of other IPs are always found to be dominant. WINNER: SPACE MARINES
ULTIMATE WINNER: TYRANIDS
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Game Two: Adeptus Mechanicus vs Astra Militarum
Who is the best Warhammer 40k army out of the Adeptus Mechanicus and the Astra Militarum (Imperial Guard)? Two armies of the Imperium, up against each other in a human vs cyborg grudge match.
Meta: This is a pretty lopside victory. The Adeptus Mechanicus are excellent in the meta, even after being nerfed last year (they were one of the very best). And the Astra Militarum are third from the bottom. I don’t know why this is. Well, I have my guesses, but the fact is simple: the Adeptus Mechanicus are simply better. WINNER: ADEPTUS MECHANICUS
Aesthetics: Okay, I’m going to try to be as positive as I can be. The Baneblades and Baneblade variants are epic. And I absolutely love the new Veteran Guardsmen (Death Korps of Krieg). And I think the Imperial Guard have some of the most interesting armored units in the game. The Sentinels are fun, as are the Chimeras. Admittedly, they have weird-looking stuff like the Deathstrike Missile Launcher. But they’re pretty good. ON THE OTHER HAND. The Adeptus Mechanicus are gorgeous. I’ve written a whole article about the design aesthetic of the Ad Mech, The Retrofuturism of the Adeptus Mechanicus. I love the Serberys Raiders and the Pteraxii, the Archeopter and the Skorpius Disintegrator. This is a hands down win to: WINNER: ADEPTUS MECHANICUS
Model Range: Now here we get into interesting territory, because the Ad Mech are a relatively new (I know it’s been many years, but compared to Imperial Guard they’re very new) army. And, as such, they simply don’t have the range that the Imperial Guard have. And while we can say that a lot of the Imperial Guard range is ugly (Catachans) they also have a whole wealth of options when it comes to Forge World. Ad Mech, cool as they are, simply don’t have the long-term life of the Imperial Guard. WINNER: ASTRA MILITARUM
Lore: An interesting battle here! The Adeptus Mechanicus are literally the armorers of the entire Imperium. If it wasn’t for them, then no one would have guns to shoot, let alone ships to get to the battle. The Ad Mech is also interesting in that they have only a hesitant peace with the Imperium, as they do crazy experiments that would be heresy for anyone else. BUT. The Imperial Guard is known for having armies of millions of soldiers on millions of worlds. And, they have the trusty Lasgun, which, although it is pretty weak when compared to other guns, has, if you count them up, probably killed more enemies than any other weapon in Warhammer 40k. There are just SO MANY of the Imperial Guard. I think, when it comes to lore, WINNER: ASTRA MILITARUM
Intangibles: This isn’t a hard one for me. While I have a warm spot in my heart for the Imperial Guard because I played them when I was very young, that’s not why I’m giving them the Intangibles nod. It’s because the Imperial Guard simply have the weight of history on their side. They’ve been in Warhammer 40k from the very beginning, always quirky, always desperate humans fighting any threat thrown at them. WINNER: ASTRA MILITARUM
ULTIMATE WINNER: ASTRA MILITARUM
Game Three: Raven Guard vs Death Guard
Now we’re getting into some classic Imperum vs Chaos. But, I have a hunch that this is going to be a lopsided battle.
Meta: When it comes to Meta, neither is really GREAT. (Note: I’m categorizing Raven Guard as generic Space Marines in this because the MetaWatch doesn’t break them down individually.) We already saw that the average Space Marine army does pretty poorly. The Death Guard does better, but not by much. They’re almost exactly middle of the pack. But they are ahead. WINNER: DEATH GUARD.
Aesthetics: Okay, so this is where things start to get lopsided. The Raven Guard are basically Space Marines, because they have very few units of their own (and the one they have gets mocked all the time for his emo haircut). On the other hand, the Death Guard are iconic in their look. People LOVE to paint the Death Guard, even if they don’t play the Death Guard, because the gaping wounds and curling tentacles and oozing pus is just so fun. Mortarion is one of the best-looking models in the entire Warhammer 40k line. Any given Death Guard unit is pretty much better-looking (in its twisted way) than any given Raven Guard. WINNER: DEATH GUARD
Model Range: A little bit of a controversy here, because if we’re just calling the Raven Guard Space Marines then they have an enormous range, as we’ve mentioned above. But I think that’s disingenuous. The Raven Guard have very few models that are distinctly Raven Guard. The Death Guard also have a very extensive range of models, a complete range that is still pretty new and gets updated often. I think we have to give it to the WINNER: DEATH GUARD
Lore: Now we get into it, because this is loyalist versus traitor. And there’s a lot of history going back between the two of them. And I think that we have to go back here to the Drop Site Massacre. The Death Guard were ambushers and the Raven Guard almost got wiped out. The Raven Guard escaped to lick their wounds and rebuild, and the Death Guard went on to play a very large role in the Siege of Terra. WINNER: DEATH GUARD
Intangibles: Honestly, I have a hard time even making a token case for the Raven Guard here. They’re just a neglected chapter that doesn’t have a lot going for them. The Death Guard have the look, they have the range, they have the lore, and they’re just SO COOL. They’re iconic. WINNER: DEATH GUARD
ULTIMATE WINNER: DEATH GUARD
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Game Four: Thousand Sons vs. Iron Hands
Another loyalist vs traitor, and another situation where there’s a little-loved Space Marine against a much-loved Chaos Marine.
Meta: We’ve already established where the Adeptus Astartes are. They’re near the bottom. However, the Thousand Sons give them a run for their money, because they’re pretty near the bottom, too. The Thousand Sons have had a hard time of it lately in all the meta. BUT, they’re still ahead by four spots. WINNER: THOUSAND SONS
Aesthetics: Not as quick of a runaway victory here, because the Iron Hands do have some cool looking vibes. The cybernetics are neat, and Iron Father Feirros is a great model. But that’s about it. The Thousand Sons, however, are a mixed bag of the very best and the very worst. The Rubric Marines are some of the best-looking models in all of Warhammer 40k, as are the Scarab Occult Terminators, as is Magnus the Red. (And, if he shows up, the Lord of Change is great.) But the Blue Horrors and Pink Horrors? Those are some of my most hated models in the game. Still, I think the edge goes to WINNER: THOUSAND SONS
Model Range: In the model range, again, the Space Marines are gonna be the Space Marines, and there’s really nothing too special to make the Iron Hands anything different. Iron Father Feirros, who we’ve already mentioned, is cool, but he’s just one guy. The Thousand Sons, while I don’t like the look of some of their models, at least have a pretty good collection of unique ideas. I think it goes to WINNER: THOUSAND SONS
Lore: This is a hard one. The Iron Hands did get hit in the Drop Site Massacre, but they do have some pretty cool lore that is specifically theirs, like the Forgechain, and their reverence for the mechanical, especially Dreadnoughts. The Thousand Sons are neat and all, and Magnus did become a Daemon Primarch, but the story of Magnus is also a blur of misunderstanding and lack of conviction. The Thousand Sons are kind of fallen, while the Iron Hands are kind of rising survivors. I give it to WINNER: IRON HANDS
Intangibles: The Thousand Sons are really pretty interesting, you can’t deny it. The Egyptian look of the Rubric Marines, the use of magic in Ahriman and the sorcerers, and all the daemons. The Iron Hands are cool in lore, but not in much else. WINNER: THOUSAND SONS
ULTIMATE WINNER: THOUSAND SONS
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West Bracket
Game One: Deathwatch vs. Genestealer Cults
Meta: This one is a bigger difference than some of the recent battles. The Deathwatch perform pretty poorly, in the bottom quarter, and the Genestealer Cults are in the top quarter. Kind of sad that the Deathwatch who are designed to kill Xenos are defeated by WINNER: GENESTEALER CULTS
Aesthetics: A hard one here. The Deathwatch are no ordinary Space Marines, and they have a very specific look to them. The silver left arm with the Deathwatch pauldron looks great, but the fact that they have their own chapters that they still represent gives them a lot of character. The Kill Team Cassius is the perfect example of this-one of the best boxes, just for a lot of unique units. The Genestealer Cults, however, are no slouches. They have some of the best vehicles in the game, especially the Goliath Rockgrinder and the Atalan Jackals. And the individual models, who are all in varying states of genetic mutation are all kind of delightful. The Aberrants especially. Plus they get Genestealers. WINNER: GENESTEALER CULTS
Model Range: Another hard one. The range for the Deathwatch is small, but that’s because it’s supposed to be small. When you play the Deathwatch you’re not looking for a lot of variation. You’re looking for small kill teams that all kind of look the same, maybe delivered in a flyer, and maybe you’ve got Kill Team Cassius or one or two special characters. The Genestealer Cult, while a relatively new army (and a relatively less-played army) does show quite a bit of range. They have at least four vehicles dedicated to them, plus they can use some Imperial Guard vehicles. And all the various levels of mutation have their own models. And there are characters to a fault. WINNER: GENESTEALER CULTS
Lore: I’m sorry, but this is a hill I’m going to die on. The Genestealer Cults will win out over a small force of elites anytime, anywhere. (I find it super interesting that the recent box paired the Genestealer Cults with the Adeptus Custodes.) Because Genestealer Cults are the ultimate horde army. More than Imperial Guard, more than Orks. The Genestealer Cults convert and corrupt an entire world of billions or trillions until the world is completely taken, and then they call the Tyranids in to mop up. I have a hard time, lore-wise, in thinking much of anyone could beat the WINNER: GENESTEALER CULTS
Intangibles: Again, I’m going straight to the Genestealer Cults here. Much love to the Deathwatch-they’re cool-but when you compare basic ideas for an army (elite warriors on one side vs planet-corrupting, long-term gameplan sneaky psychos), the answer is clear. WINNER: GENESTEALER CULTS
ULTIMATE WINNER: GENESTEALER CULTS
Game Two: Chaos Daemons vs. Ultramarines
So we come to the big daddy of the Space Marines. Can they pull out the win where the previous Space Marine chapters have fallen down?
Meta: Once again we’re working with generic Adeptus Astartes, who are not doing well in the meta, fourth from the bottom. On the other hand, the Chaos Daemons are in the top third. I admit that the Chaos Daemons are not my specialty, so I don’t have a lot of insight here. Suffice it to say: WINNER: CHAOS DAEMONS
Aesthetics: This is a tough one. The Ultramarines are everything that the Space Marines are, the poster boys of every single Space Marine unit in the game. Everything that comes out is painted Macragge Blue first, and then maybe it will eventually spread out to other chapters. If we’re going to compliment the Space Marines ANYWHERE for their aesthetics, then it ought to be here. Because make no mistake: Space Marines are pretty badass. On the other side, the Chaos Daemons range has some really low lows. The foot soldiers of any Chaos god aren’t the best. From the Horrors of Tzeentch to the Daemonettes of Slaanesh to the Khorne Bloodletters. All meh. BUT. The Greater Daemons are all phenomenal. The Great Unclean One, the Lord of Change, the Keeper of Secrets. Even the Bloodthirster is good, although he’s getting old. But you also can’t deny that Belakor is one of the best models of the last several years, and the newly released Daemon Prince looks pretty amazing, too. Sorry, Robute Guilliman: WINNER: CHAOS DAEMONS
Model Range: It’s hard to deny that model range has to go to the Ultramarines. They simply have so very much that is them. And while there are few units that are Ultramarines-only, as I said before, all Space Marines are kind of Ultramarines first and foremost. Chaos Daemons have a range that is fair to middling, with a lot of very old sculpts. WINNER: ULTRAMARINES
Lore: The Ultramarines are the quintessential Space Marines, following the Codex Astartes to the letter, and they have gotten into more than one major scrap with Chaos. But perhaps the biggest thing that the Ultramarines have going for them is that Robute Guilliman is leading the Imperium for all intents and purposes. It’s hard to deny that the Warp is an unbelievably massive and dangerous entity, but when you have the poster boy of the poster chapter, I’ve got to give the edge to WINNER: ULTRAMARINES
Intangibles: Listen, I am no Ultramarines lover, and no Guilliman fanboy, but the Ultramarines ARE the Space Marines, and the Space Marines ARE Warhammer 40k. It would be very hard to say that the influence of the Ultramarines on the game, even just in terms of marketing and Black Library books, is astounding. WINNER: ULTRAMARINES
ULTIMATE WINNER: ULTRAMARINES
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Game Three: White Scars vs Officio Assinorum
This is a kind of unfair fight, because the Officio Assinorum isn’t really an army, but a support group. They do not exist in the meta, and they don’t field Assassin armies. So, rather than just go through all of the trouble, I’m going to say that the White Scars, as a complete army, are going to win out over the Officio Assassinorum.
ULTIMATE WINNER: WHITE SCARS
Game Four: Necrons vs Dark Angels
Meta: This is the first time we have a Space Marine chapter that is separated in the MetaWatch from other generic Space Marines. They don’t do great-they’re in the lower half-but they don’t have to do very well. The Necrons come in dead last in the meta. I still think that this is because the Necrons have been the main antagonist of the recent past, coming in the Indomitus box and the Starter Sets, and I think that because of that you’re going to get a lot of new players with an army that isn’t exactly the easiest to play. So they’re going to lose more often. Either way: WINNER: DARK ANGELS
Aesthetics: I’m going to try to be as objective as I can here, because I have a MAJOR bias in this: I absolutely love Terminators. So a Deathwing Terminators army is like crack cocaine to me. They look great, from the sculpts to the color scheme to the command squad, they’re just great. But, setting that aside, the Dark Angels do have the cool cloaked and hooded thing going on which gives them a very fun vibe. The Raven Guard look good. The problem is that the Necrons are some of the most imaginative and spectacular models that Games Workshop has produced. They’re one of those armies that is just so incredibly *different*, where they’re partially Egyptian and partially undead and partially insectoid. And then you get great models like the Silent King or the C’tan Shard of the Void Dragon. The answer is WINNER: NECRONS
Model Range: This is another place where I really WANT to give the win to the Dark Angels because THEY HAVE THE DEATHWING, but the sad admission about the Deathwing (and the Ravenwing) is that the models are getting old. And there really aren’t a lot of special Dark Angels units other than those. The Dark Angels are in a place where they are essentially regular Space Marines with an unpgrade sprue. That’s fine sometimes, but I don’t think it holds up here. The Necrons, because they have been the Big Bad of 9th Edition, are very well fleshed out. They have a ton of choices and all of the sculpts are new. There is very little in the Necron range that looks out of place or old, but there are some like that with the Dark Angels. WINNER: NECRONS
Lore: There is a lot of great stuff in the Dark Angels lore to give them the edge, from their deep dark secrets about the Fallen to, again, the Deathwing and Ravenwing. They were the first of the Space Marine Legions. They have the history. The Necrons, however, have a 60 million year old backstory, fighting the Old Ones, trapping the C’tan, and just generally being an awesome mega-ancient race that wants to take over the entire galaxy as they wake up. WINNER: NECRONS
Intangibles: When it all comes down to it, though, we’ve got two armies here who are the ultimate mysteries in the galaxy. Both have secrets. Both have history. I’m going to go out on a limb, though, and say that the army with the intangibles is the first legion of the Space Marines. WINNER: DARK ANGELS
ULTIMATE WINNER: NECRONS
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South Bracket
Game One: Blood Angels vs Orks
Now we’re getting into some awesome battles. Two of my favorite factions, each completely different.
Meta: Neither the Orks nor the Blood Angels are tremendously good or tremendously bad. They’re both mostly in the middle. But, the Orks are ahead by six slots. So WINNER: ORKS
Aesthetics: This is a tough one, because they are just so completely different. You get the awesome Space Marines with a vampiric edge, with cool-looking Baal Predators and Furioso Dreadnoughts. And they have the Sanguinary Guard, who are among the coolest units in all of Warhammer 40k. BUT. The Orks have an aesthetic that is so completely their own. From the shark/squig thing that is Mozrog Skragbad, to the Ork with delightful hair in Zodgrod Wortsnagga to the big bizarre Kill Rig, to the pirate hat-wearing Flash Gitz. Stompas and Morkanauts and Bomebreakas. You can’t not give aesthetics to WINNER: ORKS
Model Range: We’re in another Space Marine issue where they have SO MANY UNITS, but the benefit here is that the Blood Angels actually have more dedicated units than others. Aside from the ones I mentioned above, there’s also the Death Company and Mephiston. They have a special Terminator Assault Squad. BUT. The Orks have the weight of history behind them, and they just have been around for so long that they have a TON of units to choose from. More than that, they just went through a big range refresh so they’ve got a TON of NEW units to choose from. WINNER: ORKS
Lore: The Orks are an absolutely delightful race from a lore perspective, especially with their whole WAAAGH! thing and the fact that they can believe technology into working. That said, we have to go back to Sanguinius, who is arguably the best Primarch-or who was the best Primarch in his prime. And the Red Thirst and Black Rage are fantastic lore features that make these noble warriors cursed with horrible secrets. I’ve got to give this one to WINNER: BLOOD ANGELS
Intangibles: Aside from the lore aspects, which I’ve already awarded points for, I’m having trouble coming up with a reason to give intangibles to the Blood Angels. For as iconic as the Space Marines are, the Orks are right up there with them, their original foe from way back when. Orks are the very epitome of Warhammer 40k. WINNER: ORKS
ULTIMATE WINNER: ORKS
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Game Two: Inquisition vs Adepta Sororitas
It’s kind of funny putting these two head to head, as they’re (mostly) on the same side. But here we are.
That said, we’re in another situation like the Officio Assassinorum. While I know that there will be the occasional Inquisition list that shows up once in a while, they’re a tiny force with few models and nothing new. They might win lore, but this goes to WINNER: ADEPTA SORORITAS
ULTIMATE WINNER: ADEPTA SORORITAS
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Game Three: Space Wolves vs. Chaos Knights
Now this is going to be an interesting one.
Meta: The meta is pretty clear here. The Chaos Knights are not faring very well. Knights of any stripe are hard to play. Meanwhile the Space Wolves are in the top half of the list. WINNER: SPACE WOLVES
Aesthetic: Oh man, there’s no way to win here. Both of these choices are so filled with magnificent aesthetics. The Space Wolves have such an iconic look going for them for every single unit, and we’re not getting into the same old “all Space Marines look the same” problem that other factions have had. Space Wolves look DIFFERENT. They have wolves that fight beside them, and they’re Space Vikings. They have so much going for them aesthetically. But the Chaos Knights have gorgeous models like the Knight Ravager which is just dripping with characters. With spikes and skulls and blood and chains and tattered flags (and this doesn’t even include the new Chaos Knight that was just revealed at Adepticon which is just CRAZY). I want to give it to the Space Wolves, but my gut tells me that the Chaos Knights just have to take it. WINNER: CHAOS KNIGHTS
Model Range: This one is easy, though. The Space Wolves have probably ten times the range that the Knights have. And, while I realize that’s by design and that the Chaos Knights are not meant to have a lot of variety, there is just so much fun stuff in the Space Wolves range to choose from. I will say that the Chaos Knights are NEWER models than the Space Wolves, so they’ve got that going for them, but still WINNER: SPACE WOLVES
Lore: This one isn’t much of a toughie for me. The Chaos Knights are cool, but their lore is relatively scarce. There is a lot to be said for Knight lore, and we’ll talk more about it with the Imperial Knights, but “Imperial Knights corrupted by Chaos” isn’t a lot to hang your hat on. The Space Wolves, on the other hand, have SO MUCH written about them, and if you don’t care about all the stories of bravery and tests of strength, there’s the fact that the Space Wolves were rumored to be the Emperor’s executioners. That’s a pretty big plus in their favor. WINNER: SPACE WOLVES
Intangibles: Again, I think that the weight of history outweighs the coolness of the Chaos Knights. Space Wolves have been around forever, and they’re icons. They’re Space Marines that reject the Codex Astartes, that have all their own organization, and that basically do what they want. WINNER: SPACE WOLVES
ULTIMATE WINNER: SPACE WOLVES
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Game Four: Drukhari vs Grey Knights
I’m interested to see where this one goes.
Meta: There’s no contest here. The Drukhari have been #1 in the meta for a long time, and even after getting nerfed they’re still #1. The Grey Knights are about middle of the pack. Easy. WINNER: DRUKHARI
Aesthetics: Again, I think that this is an easy choice, as much as it pains me to say it (I don’t like the Drukhari). The Drukhari have some of the most gorgeous vehicles, like the Raider and the Razorwing, and their models, from the Wracks to the Incubi to the Hellions are just really cool. They may be aging, but you’d hardly know from looking at them. The Grey Knights, on the other hand, just look… off. They haven’t upgraded to Primaris, and say what you like about Primaris lore, the Grey Knights just look stunty by comparison. They do have some good Terminators, but they also have the Baby Bjorn Nemesis Dreadknight. WINNER: DRUKHARI
Model Range: The Grey Knights don’t have a lot to choose from, and they’re getting on in years. The Drukhari have a few more to choose from, but they’re also getting on in years. I think that this battle is going to come down to which models LOOK like they’re old and which look like they’re modern, and I’m sorry but I have to go with WINNER: DRUKHARI
Lore: Now here is where I’m going to turn the tables because the Grey Knights are something special in the lore. If the Space Marines are super humans then the Grey Knights are the super version of super humans. An elite group of psychic super humans, very often in dreadnoughts and Terminator armor? That seems pretty great. The Drukhari are a depraved race that really has no future because they are not trying to conquer anything. They exist to live vicious hedonistic lifestyles of raiding and torturing, and eventually they will all die off. WINNER: GREY KNIGHTS
Intangibles: I’ll be straight up here: I just don’t like the Drukhari. I can handle grimdark, but the grimdark of the Drukhari is just a little too grim and dark for me. WINNER: GREY KNIGHTS
ULTIMATE WINNER: DRUKHARI
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East Bracket
Game One: Imperial Fists vs Aeldari
Meta: The Imperial Fists are lumped in with the poor-performing Adeptus Astartes near the bottom, but the Aeldari (which now include the Harlequins) do much better. The Harlequins are currently second place in the meta. The Aeldari themselves are about in the middle. Either way WINNER: AELDARI
Aesthetics: Now I am impressed as anyone with people who can paint the yellow Imperial Fists to look so incredibly good, and I do think that some of their models (well, the one) looks very good. Tor Garadon is one of my favorite Space Marine units, because he looks so very, very Imperial Fistsish. He looks like a big solid dude who is not going anywhere regardless what you do to him. That said, the Aeldari are so full of terrific sculpts. Granted, their elevation to greatness is very recent, and doesn’t include the entire range, but some of their models are really stellar. The Harlequins have looked good for years, but new models like the Avatar of Khaine and Maugan Ra are really stellar. And their vehicles and walkers have always looked good, regardless of how old they are. WINNER: AELDARI
Model Range: This is a hard one, because there is still so much of the Aeldari which has not been updated in 20 years. And while we can point to their many awesome new units, like the Rangers and the Dark Reapers, there are also the aging Swooping Hawks and Striking Scorpions. But, the Imperial Fists only have the one unit-Tor Garadon. And while he’s great, and while, yes, there is all of the Space Marines backing him up, I think I have to give this win to WINNER: AELDARI
Lore: This is another hard one. The Aeldari have a lot of cool things going in their favor, but they’re also a race that is recovering from catastrophe, and they’re not really united and not really in a position to make much of a significant play in a galactic war. The Imperial Fists are pretty exceedingly cool, with their great performance in the Siege of Terra, but they lost their Primarch. Still, I think the Imperial Fists are in a better position than the Aeldari. WINNER: IMPERIAL FISTS
Intangibles: I know that these make it seem like I’m anti Space Marine, and I’m really not, but the Aeldari have been such a great race for so long. The sculpts have been old and the army has been neglected, but they’ve hung in there, and some of the old sculpts never aged. And, since Warhammer 40k is just Warhammer Fantasy in space, it’d be hard not to go with the Space Elves. WINNER: AELDARI
ULTIMATE WINNER: AELDARI
Game Two: Chaos Space Marines vs Salamanders
Meta: Salamanders are Space Marines, which means they’re not great BUT Chaos Space Marines are terrible in the meta (they’ve been waiting long for that extra wound). They are second to the bottom, so WINNER: SALAMANDERS
Aesthetics: There are some really nice Salamanders models. I love both Adrax Agatone and Captain Vulkan He’stan. I really love the green armor combined with the fiery imagery. The Chaos Space Marines, though, have some truly amazing things in their repertoire. From the Possessed to the Chosen to the Venomcrawler to the Obliterators, there are just so many cool things in the Chaos Space Marines army. Sure, there are some models that haven’t aged well, like the Defiler, but overall, WINNER: CHAOS SPACE MARINES
Model Range: This is an easy one. There is so much available for the Chaos Space Marines, and the Salamanders only have two dedicated models and an upgrade sprue. WINNER: CHAOS SPACE MARINES
Lore: There is something cool about the Salamanders that I almost thinks gives them the edge in this, and it’s that, of all the many, many armies in Warhammer 40k, the Salamanders are… kinda… good guys? I mean, not really, but at least they try not to hurt innocents, and have some familial feelings toward regular humans. So that’s good. BUT the Chaos Space Marines make up an enormous force that, while made up of a lot of different legions (it’s kind of unfair to lump ALL Chaos Space Marines together against a single chapter of the Space Marines) the Chaos Space Marines have been putting together some pretty successful assaults on humanity. They’re still very much a force to be reckoned with. WINNER: CHAOS SPACE MARINES
Intangibles: I know I’ve been saying all the time that one of the biggest intangibles is how iconic an army is, which means I really ought to hand this to the Chaos Space Marines, but the fact that the Salamanders just might be the closest thing to the good guys makes me want to give it to them. WINNER: SALAMANDERS
ULTIMATE WINNER: CHAOS SPACE MARINES
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Game Three: Adeptus Custodes vs. Imperial Knights
Meta: This is one of the most competitive metas we’ve come across so far. In fact, I think it might be THE most competitive. The Adeptus Custodes come in second place overall, just behind the Drukhari, and the Imperial Knights come in fourth place. So while we’ve seen some pretty crummy armies win the meta, the great Imperial Knights lose despite fourth place. WINNER: ADEPTUS CUSTODES
Aesthetics: There are a lot of cool jet bikes in Warhammer 40k, but I think my favorite are the Adeptus Custodes. And their armor is pretty cool. But it is very samey. The Imperial Knights are really excellent, though. I love the very regalness of the armor-how they look different from most other Warhammer 40k armies but still fit into the universe. I think this is a hands down victory for the WINNER: IMPERIAL KNIGHTS
Model Range: This is a tough one, because these are two of the smallest ranges. Both armies are about the same age, and both have very limited numbers of options. And in both cases, I think that the ranges have a tendency to look very similar: it’s kinda hard to tell the difference between a Prosecutor Squad and a Witchseeker Squad, but it’s also kinda hard to tell the difference between a Knight Preceptor and a Knight Gallant. This is really a toss up, but I think I’m going to give it to the WINNER: IMPERIAL KNIGHTS
Lore: It’s hard to argue about the winner here. The Imperial Knights are cool and all, but the Adeptus Custodes are the super super super humans. The most elite warriors of elite warriors, tasked with keeping the Emperor safe. Easy win for WINNER: ADEPTUS CUSTODES
Intangibles: Again, hard not to go with the Adeptus Custodes on this one. There are supposedly no better individual fighters in the galaxy than the WINNER: ADEPTUS CUSTODES
ULTIMATE WINNER: ADEPTUS CUSTODES
Game Four: T’au Empire vs. Black Templars
Meta: Not an outstanding showing here. We already know that the Adeptus Astartes aren’t doing well in the meta, but the T’au aren’t doing well either. Still, even though they’re both in the bottom 25%, the T’au are a couple rungs above the Black Templars. WINNER: T’AU EMPIRE
Aesthetics: This is a tough one. The Black Tempars are everything that I love about Space Marines, covered in iconography and reliquaries and cloaks and ornamentation. But the T’au are big cool mechs that are so completely unlike everything else in the Warhammer 40k universe. When you put the Emperor’s Champion and High Marshal Helbrecht up against the KV128 Stormsurge, how do you pick a winner? I’m going to have to just say that we have seen a lot of Space Marines, and a lot of armies with gothic ornamentation, but we’ve not seen anything like the T’au so far. So, WINNER: T’AU EMPIRE
Model Range: This one isn’t hard. The Black Templars just had a massive range refresh and got a full complement of units and characters. The T’au are no slouches at all, but the Black Templars are just so new and so complete. WINNER: BLACK TEMPLARS
Lore: The Black Templars are on an eternal crusade, which is really cool. And, like I said, I love the over-the-top ostentatiousness of the Black Templars. I love how they spawned from Sigismund and have the Emperor’s Champion and all the rest. On the other hand, the T’au have the “Are they actually good guys?” thing going for them. The T’au operate in a way that is so unique in the Warhammer 40k world, in a way that is so on the fringes that it almost seems to not fit the universe-but it does. WINNER: T’AU EMPIRE
Intangibles: This could go either way. Both armies look great, both have good ranges, both have great lore. It’s hard to pick one thing about either one of them that puts them over the top. The Black Templars have the Emperor’s Champion, but the T’au have those rail guns that are bonkers. The Black Templars have their weapons chained to their wrists but the T’au have the Kroot, a completely different race fighting for them. Ultimately, it has to go to the uniqueness of the army. WINNER: T’AU EMPIRE
ULIMATE WINNER: T’AU EMPIRE
ROUND TWO OF WHAT IS THE BEST ARMY IN WARHAMMER 40K?
North Division
Game One: Tyranids vs Astra Militarum
Meta: This time it’s not even close, with the Tyranids being in the top 25% and the Astra Militarum being 3rd from the bottom. I love the Astra Militarum, but they’re hurting. WINNER: TYRANIDS
Aesthetics: Hard one here, because we’re looking at two ranges that are very unique, but which are both aging. The Tyranids have a lot of very unique sculpts, but they fail in a lot of ways with models that are perhaps TOO weird, and it’s hard to tell head from tail. The Astra Militarum has a lot of models that look, frankly, terrible (Catachans) but they also have some pretty solid tanks, and the new Death Korps of Krieg have been what we’ve been waiting for for a long time. WINNER: ASTRA MILITARUM
Model Range: We once again are talking about models which are old–on both sides of this argument–and which have not aged well in a lot of ways. Both sides have gotten the occasional bone thrown to them, but they both could really use some love. I’m going to make my decision on the fact that the Imperial Guard’s tanks just look so good and aren’t aging nearly as fast as the Tyranids. WINNER: ASTRA MILITARUM
Lore: As I said when the Tyranids one the battle with the Space Marines, we kinda have the impression that the Tyranid invasion is something akin to the heat death of the universe: it’s going to happen eventually, and we’ve got to just suck it up and admit that humans won’t live forever. WINNER: TYRANIDS
Intangibles: So it all comes down to this. Both armies have been around since the dawn of Warhammer 40k. They both have history on their side. They’re both iconic. They both take a lot of their inspiration from Starship Troopers, interestingly. I think the decision is: does the inevitability of the Tyranids’ destruction of the Milky Way outweigh the fact that the Imperial Guard are just so universally beloved with a million planets each with millions of Guard? And, I know this is showing my cards, but I’ve got to side with WINNER: ASTRA MILITARUM
ULTIMATE WINNER: ASTRA MILITARUM
Game Two: Death Guard vs Thousand Sons
Meta: Neither one is amazing in the meta. They’re both in the bottom half. But the Death Guard is leading by five spots, which makes them WINNER: DEATH GUARD
Aesthetics: Oh, this is a hard one, but at the same time it’s not. Both have excellent sculpts that form the bog-standard troops of their ranges: the Plague Marines are amazing and the Rubric Marines are amazing. Both have beautiful Daemon Primarchs. But the problem comes down to the grunts in the armies, and when I say I hate the Blue and Pink Horrors, I mean it. I’ll take Poxwalkers over them any day. WINNER: DEATH GUARD
Model Range: This one is pretty easy. The Thousand Sons got a range refresh several years ago that gave us good things like the Rubric Marines and the Scarab Assault Terminators, but the Death Guard got a HUGE release, and they continue to get models popping up all the time. There’s a lot of models to choose from with the Death Guard, and not nearly as many with the Thousand Sons. WINNER: DEATH GUARD
Lore: This is really a case where we can compare apples to apples. They’re very similar, they both are Chaos Space Marines. They both have Daemon Primarchs. I think my deciding factor is this, and forgive me: the Death Guard are thoroughly enjoying themselves. They fight with big dumb smiles on their face, surrounded by prancing Nurglings. The Thousand Sons, however, are walking suits of soulless armor. They have ceased to be and are forever cursed. WINNER: DEATH GUARD
Intangibles: At this point the Death Guard is sweeping the category so it might seem like a foregone conclusion. And, well, it is. The Death Guard are just more iconic, more memorable, and more fun to paint and to play than the Thousand Sons. WINNER: DEATH GUARD
ULTIMATE WINNER: DEATH GUARD
West Division
Game One: Genestealer Cults vs Ultramarines
Meta: This is easy. Genestealer Cults are in the top 25%, and the Adeptus Astartes are the fourth from the bottom. WINNER: GENESTEALER CULTS
Aesthetics: Ooh, this is a hard one. Because the Ultramarines ARE Warhammer 40k. They’ve been the poster boys from the beginning, and when you think of Warhammer 40k you think of Space Marines, and when you think of Space Marines you think of Ultramarines. The Genestealer Cult have some really fantastic sculpts, though, with some really gorgeous vehicles (Goliath, Atalan Jackals) and they have the fun stuff with the Neophytes and the Acolytes and the Aberrants. We’ve been saying for so long the the Ultramarines are too vanilla, but are we going to say that the most iconic look in Warhammer 40k isn’t the best looking? I don’t know, but I’m going to have to pick. WINNER: ULTRAMARINES
Model Range: This one is no contest. There is no end to what the Ultramarines have access to, and the Genestealer Cults have a really limited range that has too few troop choices and too many character models. The easy win goes to WINNER: ULTRAMARINES
Lore: A hard one, but if you read the Round One fight with the Genestealer Cults, you know that I am a big advocate for them. They take over entire worlds before they launch their attacks, and as awesome as Ultramarines are, they stick strictly to the Codex Astartes, which means there’s only 1000 of them. Maybe we can say that the Ultramarines will Exterminatus the entire planet, but in a fair fight on land? The Genestealer Cults would overwhelm the Ultramarines through sheer force of numbers. WINNER: GENESTEALER CULTS
Intangibles: Look, I want the Genestealer Cults to win this as much as anyone, but when it comes to intangibles, there’s no way that the most iconic of the iconic are not going to win this one. Everything in Warhammer 40k is blue and gold, and it’s WINNER: ULTRAMARINES
ULTIMATE WINNER: ULTRAMARINES
Game Two: White Scars vs Necrons
Meta: Both of them are terrible, with the Adeptus Astartes being fourth from the bottom, but the Necrons are dead last. Sorry. WINNER: WHITE SCARS
Aesthetics: The White Scars carry the weight of the Space Marines with them, but as White Scars they really don’t carry a lot. A nice color scheme and some cool Mongol imagery with their hair. But the Necrons are just incredibly cool. From the Flayed Ones to the C’tan Shards to the everything else. There’s really nothing in the Necrons that doesn’t look good. Even the Scarabs are cool. WINNER: Necrons
Model Range: While Space Marines have a wide model range, the White Scars themselves don’t have much. A couple of characters and some upgrade sprues. The Necrons, on the other hand, got a major range refresh and have a ton of cool models to choose from. Lots of variety, lots of different looks. East win for WINNER: NECRONS
Lore: The White Scars are a great Space Marine legion, but the Necrons have just so much weight of history behind them. They’re not as old in the game’s history as White Scars, but when they did arrive they made a big splash and their backstory is fascinating. And there are just so many of them, and they’re really hard to kill. WINNER: NECRONS
Intangibles: Another easy one. When you say “Necrons” all kinds of cool things come to mind, like Egyptian imagery and undead imagery and robotic imagery. When you say “White Scars” you get bikes and Mongols. I think this is lopsided in favor of the WINNER: NECRONS
ULTIMATE WINNER: NECRONS
South Division
Game One: Orks vs Adepta Sororitas
Meta: This one is close. They’re only three spots apart, both just above the halfway mark, but the winner is the WINNER: ADEPTA SORORITAS
Aesthetics: Wow, this one is going to be hard. The Adepta Sororitas is so amazing to look at. From the Triumph of St. Katherine to the stained-glass windows on their tanks to the pipe organ that shoots rockets. Everything is covered in amazing iconography. But the Orks have a look that is so classically theirs. You know a model is an Ork model, from the slapped-together, ramshackle look, to the wires sticking out of everywhere to the most abusive cybernetics you’ve ever seen. It’s really hard to pick. But I’m going to go with WINNER: ADEPTA SORORITAS
Model Range: While the Adepta Sororitas have had a range refresh recently and got their plastics after so long of not having them, the Orks have ALSO had a range refresh, and they have just so many more models to choose from. The Ork range is enormous, looks great, and has enough variety that you can play the army in one of many different strategies. WINNER: ORKS
Lore: The Adepta Sororitas are really neat in concept, but they’re not really designed to fight the Orks. Orks are designed to fight anyone who is sitting still, or moving, or even other Orks. Orks are just a massive force that overpowers you with their numbers and their bizarre weaponry, and while the Adepta Sororitas have some bizarre weapons, it just doesn’t compare. WINNER: ORKS
Intangibles: The Adepta Sororitas have been around for a long time and have a lot of love from a lot of players. But Warhammer 40k essentially started out as Space Marines fighting Orks, and it’s never really gotten away from that. They are one of the quintessential bad guys. Warhammer 40k could exist without Adeptas Sororitas, but it could not exist without Orks. WINNER: ORKS
ULTIMATE WINNER: ORKS
Game Two: Space Wolves vs Drukhari
Meta: Easiest pick here. The Space Wolves are solidly middle-of-the-pack, but the Drukhari have been the reigning champions of the meta for a while now, and even continue after being nerfed last year. WINNER: DRUKHARI
Aesthetics: The aesthetics really depends on your taste because they are SO different, and so distinct. The Space Wolves have so much imagery of the Norse, the Vikings, wolves and even werewolves. The Drukhari are the hedonist slavers, and everything is spikes and chains and delicate features and whips. Ultimately, this is going to come down to personal preference, but I’m going to decide based on who is most unique, and in this case it’s the WINNER: DRUKHARI
Model Range: Both of these armies have great ranges. Unlike most of the Adeptus Astartes, the Space Wolves have a LOT of models that are specifically theirs. And the Drukhari have a good range that has grown over the years with a lot of units. However, I think that the Space Wolves have been updated more recently, look more modern, and just on the whole get more love from the model makers. WINNER: SPACE WOLVES
Lore: The Space Wolves are truly iconic (I know I’ve been throwing that word around a lot, but the Space Wolves are). They have a theme, and they stick to that theme. They have a great background of being the Emperor’s executioners, as well as rejecting the Codex Astartes. The Drukhari, on the other hand, are an army that is in war for the jollies, seeking slaves to torture. They’re not out to conquer anything or expand territory. In the end, the Drukhari are going to be a footnote in the galaxy when they get wiped out by some larger force. WINNER: SPACE MARINES
Intangibles: It’s hard to deny that first category (meta) and root in favor of the Drukhari. But the Space Wolves have just been the big awesome Vikings on the block for so long, are almost universally beloved, and are, well, iconic. WINNER: SPACE WOLVES
ULTIMATE WINNER: SPACE WOLVES
East Division
Game One: Aeldari vs Chaos Space Marines
Meta: The Chaos Space Marines make a poor showing here. While the Aeldari come in somewhere in the middle, the Chaos Space Marines are second from the bottom. Easy WINNER: AELDARI
Aesthetics: This one is tough, because both the Aeldari and the Chaos Space Marines have gotten a lot of love recently, with the Aeldari getting cool new units like the Kill Team’s Corsairs, the Dark Reapers, and Guardians. And, frankly, the Aeldari vehicles have never looked bad, from the Wraithguard to the flyers and jet bikes. They may be old, but they’re great. The Chaos Space Marines, on the other hand, just got a bunch new models at WarhammerFest 2022, including some truly bizarre Possessed, Accursed Cultists, and Torments. Even the new daemon prince is amazing. But when push comes to shove, I really think the best looking are WINNER: AELDARI
Model Range: This is much easier. There are just so many more options for the Chaos Space Marines. The range is wide and deep, and they’ve been refreshed recently (both the current stuff and the refresh two years ago). The Aeldari’s range looks good, but some of their models–the Aspect Warriors–are ancient. WINNER: CHAOS SPACE MARINES
Lore: The Aeldari have a lot going for them. They’re technologically advanced. They have advanced FTL travel that avoids the Warp. But in the end the Aeldari are a race that is rebuilding themselves and have been since the Fall of the Eldar. The Chaos Space Marines, on the other hand, lead massive invasions, wars on a thousand fronts. WINNER: CHAOS SPACE MARINES
Intangibles: The Aeldari are cool and they’ve been around for a long time, but they’ve never held the place in the game on par with the Chaos Space Marines. The Chaos Space Marines have been antagonists of dozens of campaigns–and then there’s the whole Horus Heresy. We have to go with WINNER: CHAOS SPACE MARINES
ULTIMATE WINNER: CHAOS SPACE MARINES
Game Two: Adeptus Custodes vs T’au Empire
Meta: Big difference here. The T’au are in the bottom 25% and the Adeptus Custodes are second place overall. WINNER: ADEPTUS CUSTODES
Aesthetics: I don’t personally think this one is all that hard. The Adeptus Custodes are cool in that they’re very flashy and very gold, and they’ve got cool jet bikes, but that’s it. The T’au Empire has big mechs that are very gundam and look completely unique in the Warhammer 40k world. WINNER: T’AU EMPIRE
Model Range: The Adeptus Custodes, by their very definition, don’t have a wide range. They’re the few, the elite. There’s not much to pick from, and there doesn’t need to be because your army is going to be so small. The T’au, on the other hand, are not an enormous range, but they do have a lot of depth. They have mechs, yes, but they’re varied and interesting, all different. The infantry look totally different. (I personally love the new T’au Pathfinders.) WINNER: T’AU EMPIRE
Lore: But then the wheels come off the T’au because the Adeptus Custodes truly are the best of the best of the best. They’re the Emperor’s personal bodyguard, and they’re the most super of the super humans. The T’au have significant weaknesses, mainly in close combat. WINNER: ADEPTUS CUSTODES
Intangibles: Look, we all know that the Adeptus Custodes are amazing. And we know the T’au have weaknesses. But the T’au have the “almost the good guys” thing going for them, plus they have the absolute uniqueness going for them. Adeptus Custodes are a natural outgrowth of Space Marines, and more Imperium. The T’au are a thing unto themselves. WINNER: T’AU EMPIRE
ULTIMATE WINNER: T’AU EMPIRE
ROUND THREE OF WHAT IS THE BEST ARMY IN WARHAMMER 40k?
North Division Finals: Astra Militarum vs Death Guard
Meta: We already know. The Astra Militarum are down near the bottom, while the Death Guard are in the middle. WINNER: DEATH GUARD
Aesthetics: Not a hard choice here. The Death Guard just look so incredibly cool. And while the Astra Militarum have been skating by in this category by the power of their tanks, there’s really no contest when it comes to the Imperial Guard’s old look and the Death Guard’s updated, comprehensive look. WINNER: DEATH GUARD
Model Range: The Death Guard have an extensive range, indeed, but to be fair they’re very new. The Astra Militarum may have a lot of old units that need refreshing, but they have SO MANY units to choose from. And a lot of their units are really fantastic. You don’t have a variety of playstyles to choose from with the Astra Militarum: they’re kind of a shooty horde army. But the Death Guard aren’t all that varied either. Still, the Death Guard are just so much newer that I’d have a hard time arguing that the Astra Militarum should take this. WINNER: DEATH GUARD
Lore: The Death Guard are a very cool Chaos army, with a cool theme and a cool Primarch. But the Astra Militarum have the weight of a million worlds on their side. And they have their trusty lasguns, the weapon that has killed more enemies than anything else in Warhammer 40k. WINNER: ASTRA MILITARUM
Intangibles: Death Guard are really cool, and known for being really cool, but the Astra Militarum are just so pervasive, with unique regiments all over the galaxy. Plus they have the benefit of being the average human. WINNER: ASTRA MILITARUM
ULTIMATE WINNER: DEATH GUARD
West Division Finals: Ultramarines vs Necrons
Meta: Both are bad, but the Necrons are the bottom of the bottom. WINNER: ULTRAMARINES
Aesthetics: The Ultramarines are the quintessential Space Marines, so when we’re comparing Ultramarines with Necrons we’re essentially comparing ALL Space Marines with Necrons. So, are Space Marines better looking than Necrons? Hard question. Space Marines are seen as being vanilla, but is that just because we’re so used to them? I’m not sure. But Necrons are really wild, going in bizarre directions that the Ultramarines never could. There’s no way to say that Robute Guilliman is better looking than The Silent King. I think this has to go WINNER: NECRONS
Model Range: But, all of that said, if we’re comparing Ultramarines to anything, then we’re comparing ALL Space Marines, and the Space Marine range is hands-down the biggest and most fleshed-out model range in the entire game. Easy WINNER: ULTRAMARINES
Lore: I think we have a situation where the Ultramarines are going up against a force that is so incredibly mightier than they are–and it’s the Ultramarines’ fault because of the dang Codex Astartes which limits them to 1000 Space Marines total. You can’t have 1000 Marines beating off untold worlds of an ancient race that harnesses the power of gods. WINNER: NECRONS
Intangibles: Look, I’m not happy about this either. The Necrons are amazing and unique and have a great backstory but… the Ultramarines ARE Warhammer 40k. It will have to be a very different battle to have someone win Intangibles other than WINNER: ULTRAMARINES
ULTIMATE WINNER: ULTRAMARINES
South Division Finals: Orks vs Space Wolves
Meta: Neck-and-neck battle here, but the Orks eek out a victory by being three spots ahead of the Space Wolves. WINNER: ORKS
Aesthetics: The Space Wolves have all the cool Viking Norse Wolf stuff going on, but the Orks are a whole look unto themselves. They don’t appear to be inspired by some other culture, like the Vikings, but they are cut from whole cloth, made to look the way they do long back in the 1980s when they were invented. And they just get weirder and wilder as time goes by. WINNER: ORKS
Model Range: The Space Wolves have the weight of the Space Marines behind them, but as for Space Wolves themselves they don’t hold a candle to the might of the Ork’s model range. The Orks are varied and different, and so many of the models are brand new (unlike the Space Wolves which haven’t seen much innovation lately). WINNER: ORKS
Lore: The Space Wolves are really something cool. They are legendary. We’ve covered all of this before. But they’re only one legion (big as they are) against the weight of the entire Ork WAAAGH! I’m trying to picture a one-on-one battle between the best Space Wolf and the best Ork, and it could easily be a draw. They’re both fantastic. It’s a tight race, but I’m going with WINNER: ORKS
Intangibles: It’s a runaway victory at this point, but it’s worth reiterating that the Orks are as iconic as the Space Marines, and that they’ve been around since the beginning. WINNER: ORKS
East Division Finals: Chaos Space Marines vs T’au Empire
Meta: Chaos Space Marines are second from the bottom, handing this to WINNER: T’AU EMPIRE
Aesthetics: Wow, this one is hard. The Chaos Space Marines are so incredibly cool, and they have a lot of cool units–including the brand new ones. But the T’au are so unique and different, giving us something that is completely lacking in Warhammer 40k otherwise. Do we go with gundam or lots of spikes and body horror? I guess I’m deciding, and my vote is WINNER: T’AU EMPIRE
Model Range: An easy victory here. The T’au have a solid range, and they’re not even very old. But the Chaos Space Marines have SO MUCH, and a lot of it is very new. Victory here for WINNER: CHAOS SPACE MARINES
Lore: The T’au have a lot going for them in lore, such as being an actual empire that gathers other races together. And they’re also the “greater good” guys which gives them a solid footing as quasi-good guys. But the Chaos Space Marines are so pervasive in the galaxy and so powerful, plus they’ve been around since the Horus Heresy and there’s just so much background. WINNER: CHAOS SPACE MARINES
Intangibles: There’s no need to rehash this. The T’au have a lot going for them, but they’ll never be as iconic as WINNER: CHAOS SPACE MARINES
ULTIMATE WINNER: CHAOS SPACE MARINES
FINAL FOUR of WHAT IS THE BEST ARMY IN WARHAMMER 40K?
Game One: Death Guard vs Ultramarines
Meta: The Ultramarines suffer the sad death of the Adeptus Astartes. WINNER: DEATH GUARD
Aesthetics: We’re measuring the whole of the Space Marines against the Death Guard and I have to say that as much as the Space Marines are really great–there’s a reason that they’ve lasted so long–the Death Guard just look so much better. Many people who play completely different armies will buy Death Guard models just because they’re so much fun to paint. They are the opposite of vanilla. WINNER: DEATH GUARD
Model Range: The Death Guard have thrived for a long time in this competition based on their extensive model range, but when you compare them to the granddaddy of them all, the Ultramarines, they just don’t stand up. WINNER: ULTRAMARINES
Lore: Well, there’s one big thing in favor of the Ultramarines, and it’s the Horus Heresy. The Chaos Space Marines lost and the Ultramarines won. The Death Guard have their daemon Primarch Mortarion, but the Ultramarines have their Primarch Guilliman. BUT, I think that the Death Guard may have an edge here, and that’s because I view the Codex Astartes as a problem. The 1000 Ultramarines are going to struggle against the overwhelming force of the daemons of the Warp. The Ultramarines continue to win because they are a combined force with other Space Marine chapters, and that’s not something that the Death Guard is restricted by. The Death Guard is as powerful as they want to be. WINNER: DEATH GUARD
Intangibles: Once again, the winner of the Intangible category is going to be the poster boys of poster boys, the icons of icons, WINNER: ULTRAMARINES
ULTIMATE WINNER: DEATH GUARD
Game Two: Orks vs Chaos Space Marines
Meta: The Chaos Space Marines continue to suffer in the meta. WINNER: ORKS
Aesthetics: Another tough battle here. The Chaos Space Marines have done very well in aesthetics up to now, and for good reason. But the Orks have also performed well here. Do we go with body horror and spikes? Or do we go with ramshackle and bizarre? Both are excellent choices and I think it comes down to taste. And the one deciding factor for me: have you ever tried to paint ALL THAT TRIM on Chaos Space Marines? It’s maddening. Give me an Ork any day. WINNER: ORKS
Model Range: Another close category, because both have extensive ranges, both have been with Warhammer 40k since the beginning, and both have been refreshed recently. I’m tempted to give it to the Chaos Space Marines because they’re the ones who were refreshed at WarhammerFest, but that was only an addition of five units. And, while the units were very cool, they’re not core units. The Orks, on the other hand, had a massive refresh at the end of last year and got all sorts of new things, including replacing units (Boyz) that were 20 years old. Lots of plastics, lots of crazy bizarre stuff, the answer is WINNER: ORKS
Lore: Hard call here. They’re both primarily seen as the bad guys, they both fight anywhere with anyone. They’ve both been around for a long time. And we don’t see Chaos Space Marine versus Ork battles very much in the lore. I’m going to go on gut here and give it to WINNER: CHAOS SPACE MARINES
Intangibles: Winning, as they always do, because they are the yin to the Space Marines’ yang, we have to hand the victory to WINNER: CHAOS SPACE MARINES
ULTIMATE WINNER: ORKS
FINAL BATTLE FOR WHAT IS THE BEST ARMY IN WARHAMMER 40K?
Orks vs Death Guard
Meta: Both of them are middling, but the Orks are in the lead by a few spots. WINNER: ORKS
Aesthetics: The Orks are really going to give the Death Guard a run for their money here, but if the history of this competition has shown us anything, it’s that aesthetics go to WINNER: DEATH GUARD
Model Range: The Death Guard are very complete, are very new, but they simply don’t have the weight of range that the Orks do. The Orks have far more units, and can be played in a variety of different playstyles. WINNER: ORKS
Lore: Not a hard decision here. The Death Guard are one legion among many Chaos Space Marine legions, with a large amount of power, but they are not a goliath fighting body that the WAAAGH! of the Orks are. WINNER: ORKS
Intangibles: The Orks have been around since the very beginning, are classic foes of the Imperium. The Death Guard are excellent baddies, but they’ve only been around (as their own big thing) for five years or so. They are simply not as iconic as the WINNER: ORKS
