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Batman Miniature Game problems abound. I feel like I have tried and tried to give this game the benefit of the doubt, but it keeps getting thrown back in my face. I don’t like to post overly negative reviews, and this article isn’t even a review, really. It’s simply highlighting why, despite really wanting to get into Batman Miniature Game, problems keep getting in my way that are unforgivable. If Batman Miniature Game wanted to be the DC Marvel Crisis Protocol, this is not it.

Batman Miniature Game: Why I Want to Like It

The Batman Miniature Game problems are not based on the sculpts, which are gorgeous–oh my goodness, they’re gorgeous. And it’s not based on the rules, which, from what I can tell, are great. I really want to like the Batman Miniature Game. For the past two years I have included it on my Ovelist for goals that I wanted to tackle in the year.

First, the sculpts: Knight Models, it can never be denied, has some of the best sculpts available. And that’s what makes this game so tempting. Every Batman character you’ve ever heard of (and some that you haven’t) are included here, and they look so tempting.

Let’s start with Batman. There’s not just one Batman miniature. There’s the Batman that comes with the Starter Set (which I’ll talk about more in a second) which features the Robert Pattinson Batman. There’s the Batman Multiverse Batman, which is all a flurry of bats and movement and a painter’s dream. There’s the Batman Dark Knight, riding on horseback, which is a ton of fun. And there’s even the Adam West Batman. And that’s not even half the Batmans. Suffice it to say, this game is not wanting for Batman models.

And Batman would be nothing without his team, which includes Commissioner Gordon (of course), but also Robin and Batwoman and Nightwing and so many more. Batman has a ton of side characters on his team that you can choose from, you’d almost think that this game would be brimming with beautiful sculpts to paint. (Spoiler: it really isn’t, unless you pay through the nose.)

But on to the bad guys. There’s the entire Arkham Asylum set: the Birds of Prey, led by Harley Quinn, the Joker, the Penguin, the Court of Owls, the Riddler. Mr. Freeze. Two Face. There are just so many of them and they all look so good that it makes a painter salivate at the thought of getting their hands on these models.

As for the rules? The rules are very good, which I say more from my experience of watching battle reports than from playing the game myself, for reasons which will come clear shortly. The best thing about the rules is that each of the teams play differently. Batman is fighting to capture the villains and turn them into the police. The Riddler has puzzles aplenty as his pursuers hunt down suspect markers. The Court of Owls moves quick, making kills and gathering up Owl Markers. Two Face can play as a thug or as police. It’s all very slick.

Batman Miniature Game Problems: Why I Simply Can’t Get Into It

So last year I ordered the two player starter set which came with Batman and a bunch of cops, and Harley Quinn with a bunch of clown-faced thugs. Pretty standard, but it really lacks all of the fun in what I just told you about. Batman is one hero, not flanked by Batwoman or Nightwing or Green Arrow. And Harley Quinn is not with the Birds of Prey. She’s just her and some thugs.

This year I ordered the new two player starter set and it came with, surprise, Batman and a bunch of cops, and Carmine Falcone and a bunch of gangsters.

Now, I enjoy Carmine Falcone as a bad guy, and I even like his model, appropriately armed with a pool cue. But if I’m trying to get into a comic book game about big flashy comic book villians, and I’m presented with a good Batman model and an entire box of cops and guys in suits? That’s not interesting. It’s not enough to get me to want to play.

Of course, having been burned the first year I decided to order some back up, and I got the Birds of Prey boxed set. The Birds of Prey box came with a promising crew: Harley Quinn, Black Canary, Huntress, Cassandra Cain, Renee Montoya, and the trusty dog Bruce. I was set, I thought, with models that would interest me and my Batman could fight interesting villains and I could paint above-average miniatures.

Wrong. The Birds of Prey box came, after a long trip across the ocean, and all of the cards were in Spanish. The exterior of the box was in English. But the cards–which are necessary to play–are all in Spanish.

I should say that Knight Models is a Spanish company. This is important because all of their models come with an atrociously high cost of shipping, and a long boat ride to get to you across the ocean. I have yet to come up with a reliable reseller in the United States, other than some stuff on eBay.

Should one pack of bad cards doom Knight Models? Well, it’s a quality control issue. Because if you remember last year I got the starter set that came with Harley Quinn, carrying an oversized comic-style hammer. And it was broken. This was the type of part that there was absolutely no way to pin. So the only interesting villian model I got in that initial starter box was broken.

And does Knight Models reply to their emails? I never received a good Harley Quinn model, and I never received an English set of cards.

Takeaways

I really want to like this game. Just writing this article and looking at the models on their website has me drooling over things to paint. But I don’t trust Batman Miniature Game. Problems seem to be everywhere, from design to marketing to quality control. And these models ain’t cheap. That Birds of Prey box cost me 54,50 € which is about $58 USD. People talk about how expensive Games Workshop is, but I can get a box of Space Marines overnight from Amazon for cheaper than this set of five villains and a dog, weeks later.

I‘m still tempted to buy some of the models to paint, just to paint, not for the cards or the rules or the starter set. But what if I get another broken hammer situation?

I just can’t. I feel like I’ve given Knight Models a fair chance and they’re going nowhere. So I’m finally, after six weeks, going to take all of these models off my desk and retire them to a box where they will get dusty on a shelf.