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It’s Not You, It’s Me
I am an avid fan of the Total War franchise, since dipping my toe into it way back in Total War: Napoleon, and then falling madly in love with Total War: Empire. I believe to this day, all these years later, that there is no better game for me than Total War: Empire. I have played the game as every nationality, with every different strategy. I have started as the Prussians with the goal of taking over India. I have started as the Russians with the goal of taking over Central America. I’ve done it all. It’s endlessly replayable.
And when Warhammer: Total War came out, I was definitely ALL IN. I played a lot of Warhammer: Total War, and then when Warhammer II: Total War came along I was in heaven. It is a stellar game.
But Then Something Happened
Now, I’ve written about how I am neurodivergent, to the point of being disabled for a time. I’m now on much better medicine and I am high functioning and everything is good, but for a while: hoo-boy. I was deep in the throes of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. And I would say that Total War games were making all my OCD tendencies flair, but that didn’t happen. What happened was that taking OCD medicine made me disinterested in playing Total War games. In fact, taking OCD medicine kinda got me disinterested in all video games.
I think a big part of this is because the games that I have tended to play are the obsessive kinds of games, like real-time strategy games, or turn-based strategy. I have spent SO much of my life playing Civilization V and VI.
But then I got on the medicine and I just… stopped. I was no longer interested in these games. I could enjoy the occasional first-person shooter or fighting game, but strategy games were out.
And there I remained for three years. I still had Steam on my computer, but I no longer played anything on it.
But… It’s Warhammer. And It’s Total War
I have watched so much gameplay footage and videos and reviews of Warhammer III: Total War and it has looked so incredibly enticing. I loved Grand Cathay and the Ogres and all of the Chaos stuff and Kislev. Everything about it looked incredible. I knew that this was going to be the game for me.
So I decided to try an experiment about two weeks ago. Christmas is coming, and my wife and I tell each other what we want, and I was getting ready to tell her that I wanted Warhammer III: Total War. But, before I dove back in, I decided to test the waters.
I redownloaded Warhammer II: Total War back onto my computer, and I played it. And I played it and played it.
Now, I’m no stranger to this game. According to Steam, I’ve logged 397 hours in Warhammer II: Total War, and that has been trying out a bunch of different races and a bunch of different tactics.
Even better, now I had a better computer, so the Mortal Empires part of the game was much more playable (three years ago I rarely played it because it took the computer so long to churn through all of the AI turns). But it was playing fast and smooth, and it was excellent.
So I started a game as the Skaven, and I played as the Skaven for several days, many hours a day, and while I didn’t play to win the game, I played until I wanted to try another race. So I tried the Lizardmen, and my Lizardmen were amazing and I was destroying everything. And then I played the High Elves, and this was my most successful campaign of the test–I came very close to winning.
And then…
I Fell Out of Love
I came to a realization. Playing Warhammer II: Total War was not healthy. And I say that as someone with OCD, but I also say that as just someone who has played a lot of games over my life.
You know how when you play Civilization and you win, and you have the option to End Game or Just One More Turn? The whole Just One More Turn thing was what drives all gameplay in Warhammer II: Total War. You always think “If I just can recruit that dragon then I can capture that settlement” or “if I can just get to level 20 then it will open up new Regiments of Reknown” and so you play and play, and it’s Just One More Turn and Just One More Turn until you’ve been playing for nine hours and your Sunday is gone.
And I left it feeling… very unfulfilled. When I would finish a five, six, or seven hour game session, I would think “I could have been playing real Warhammer on a tabletop with one of my friends.” Or I would think “I could have been painting this huge pile of shame that I’ve been sitting on top of for years.” Or I would think “You know, I do have a family.”
And so I made the decision, very clearly: I was not going to buy Warhammer III: Total War.
What I’m Not Trying to Say
I am not trying to say that YOU shouldn’t play Warhammer III: Total War. I’m not trying to say that video games are bad, or even that this particular type of video game is bad. And I’m not even trying to blame this on my OCD.
I just weighed my options after refreshing myself with the franchise and decided that I was going to take a pass. I have a lot of obssessive hobbies. I have no end of obsessive hobbies. It’s probably not healthy for me to play wargames as much as I do.
Or maybe it is. I don’t know. I think there is a lot of intrinsic worth that comes from the act of painting and learning new skills. I think wargaming is a very welcoming (for the most part) environment and that it’s good to be around friends. And before you say that Warhammer III: Total War has a great multiplayer mode–I totally get that, and if it’s your thing then you do you.
